


The Final Testament of Firelord Zuko

by Aelixander



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 02:04:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20940500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelixander/pseuds/Aelixander
Summary: Aang truly dies in the caverns of Old Ba Sing Se as Katara had used her spirit water to heal Zuko's scar. This is the story of the consequences a single action has on what is to come.





	The Final Testament of Firelord Zuko

THE FINAL TESTAMENT OF FIRELORD ZUKO, LAST OF HIS LINE.

It's been many years since the Avatar fell, and yet I find I still think of him. In a way I admire him, strange as it is to say after all that has happened. As a child he had been my enemy, and yet he was clever and brave. I often wonder what kind of man he would've made. What kind of Avatar. There had been so many across thousands of years... all with their stories and legacies. Aang would have none, being the last. He was killed in the Avatar State, ending the cycle. This I know from my study with the Sages.

My father had ordered their execution, caught up in the fervor of our victory all those years ago he wanted to destroy all evidence that the Avatar ever existed. I managed to convince him to safeguard some, so that we could use their knowledge should the Avatar somehow return again. He laughed at what he considered my cowardice but indulged me nonetheless. Perhaps he was more concerned by the prospect than he led on. Even now I can't claim to understand the man. Since he is dead, I doubt I ever will. 

I remember his death well...

“Ozai.” I cooed through my smile as he lay on the floor wheezing feebly through blistered lips. “I would call you Father but then you never really were one, were you?”

The Firelord, understandably, did not respond. I had made sure my strike had passed through his lungs and not his heart. From his ragged breaths I could only assume it was very painful. Good. There would be no quick, merciful death for this disgrace of a man.

“I'd call you Firelord but we both know that title is fading from your grasp and falling into mine.” I was a little terrified at just how much venom was in my voice, but having let it loose I found myself helpless against it. “I would ask how that feels but I imagine it is difficult to answer with scorched lungs. Surprised by my lightning were you?”

I relished the helpless fury in his eyes. I even laughed. 

“This moment must be so painful for you.” I dug in as his breaths became more pained, more shallow. “The great Firelord Ozai, unmatched in firebending. Felled by the son he so often considered a disgrace. Fitting that you should only realize that truth in your dying moments. That you always misjudged me and now pay the price with your life.”

Then my father took his last haggard breath and died with a knowing smile on his face. A smile! The man always did know how to take the savor out of things...

The investigation into my father's death was pitiful. If I cared more about him I would've been insulted. I took responsibility, of course, pained as I was by the guilt. My father had lured me to a private sparring match, you see. Except the match became deadly. Ozai went to strike me with lightning and I reacted, redirecting it back to him as my Uncle once taught me. This was readily accepted, as everyone knew that Prince Zuko had never managed to master lightning bending. And of course by the way I “botched” the job. Masters of the skill make a point to kill people as subtly as possible, attempting to leave no marks on their victims as they stop their hearts. Clearly I failed in that regard. As he had attacked me viciously years before it wasn't questioned why he would try to kill me now. Even before Sozin, Firelords had been known for their violent, ruthless tendencies. In the end I think the matter was mostly dropped because people didn't like my father very much. I couldn't blame them.

Not that I wasn't carefully watched. Just because they didn't care about Ozai's death didn't mean they had no interest in what I intended to do with my reign. It was important I remain composed. The hours before my coronation were spent ruminating on the events that led there.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact fulcrum that decided my fate but if I were to choose any moment of my life I would have to say it was the day the Avatar fell... 

I was there. This is common knowledge as legend has it that it was I who slew the Avatar. It took years but I had almost convinced myself it was true.

“I looked on with pride as the Avatar fell to his death, struck by my blow.” I claimed

“That's not how it happened.” This was the Water tribe peasant. Sokka. “Your sister was the one who-.” I cuffed him with the back of my hand. He was in my custody after all. I could do with him as I wished.

“You shut your mouth, filthy peasant!” Even then I knew he wasn't the focus of my rage but I couldn't help myself. “I slew the Avatar!”

“You make it sound so legendary.” He looked me in my eyes, his the same blue as his sister's, reminding me how I longed to see them again. “He was just a kid.” I couldn't bring myself to strike him again, to argue against him. I wanted to tell him it wasn't true.

I remember it so clearly... 

We had been fighting desperately against each other in the catacombs, my sister and I against the Avatar and the other one... the peasant's sister... 

Katara... 

I was amazed how the both of them managed to hold us off, even when the Dai Li came to help us. But at last we were getting through, our quarry surrounded and losing steam. That's when Aang erected a crystal chamber around himself and I watched it light up. He burst out of the crystal, his eyes and the arrows of his tattoos aglow. I had seen this before and stood petrified against the awesome power that I knew he would unleash in a moment's time. It was oddly beautiful.

I heard a sizzle and a crack of thunder. Lightning struck the Avatar from behind. He fell like a moth flown into a flame. I was agog. The Avatar. The person I had spent years hunting to regain my honor... was dead. I saw his body fall into Katara's arms after she swept everyone around her in a great wave. She looked right at me, her eyes so full of rage and despair that I felt them stab into my own. I don't think anyone has ever touched me so deeply with a look. 

Katara escaped with the Avatar's body, but not before leaving me with a parting gift. A shard of ice sliced down at me and cut across my left cheek. I winced, impressed at her aim as blood seeped through my fingers and ran down in tiny rivulets. It saddened me. Only hours before I had been made whole again and already that was lost. Still, before that cheek had been shiny and coarse, full of scars where my skin had bubbled against the fireball my father had sent shooting down at my face.

I had met Katara in the prison in the catacombs. Somehow we connected over our shared loss in this war. In a moment of incredible generosity she offered to heal my scar. I didn't believe her but accepted, figuring I didn't have much to lose. I didn't even expect much when she brought out the spirit water, not even when it glowed as she bent it. Only when it touched my face and I could feel it molding my skin like fresh clay did I gasp in shock and awe. When she finished I went to touch my cheek and it was skin. I was healed! I almost cried in gratitude but then the Avatar came along with my uncle Iroh somehow. Iroh the traitor.

A part of me wanted to betray them even then. Even when I was overwhelmed with gratitude for Katara's gift I considered taking Aang back to my father. He was right there. Surely Uncle would help. I could go back home and even better fully healed. It would be like nothing had ever happened. Maybe we could even recall my mother back from her exile...

But no. My gratitude overrode my judgment and I let them go. Considering what came after I feel this was a mistake. 

I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. Uncle was saying how proud he was of me but I wasn't so sure of anything myself. I had been doing what he wanted me to do. Been happy and proud of his accomplishments and my being able to share it with him. And in a way I was. The Avatar had been out of my grasp. I had let him go with his bison and I doubted I would ever get a better opportunity. What point was there in me languishing over a life that I had deliberately let go of?

But then he was in my grasp again and I couldn't help but feel that old desire reawaken within me. Whatever Uncle thought of me felt tainted, untrue. Not while I was questioning everything I had been doing up to that moment. Then came Azula.

My sister has a way with words. The best way I can describe it is that she uses her tongue to viciously slice away all options from your mind except the one that works to her favor so that you feel that you cannot help but do as she says. It's inspiring. It's terrifying. But above all, it's effective. 

“I need you, Zuko. I've plotted every move of this day,” She clenches her fist. The fervor she feigns is almost real. “this glorious day in Fire Nation history, and the only way to win is together.”

Even then I knew she wasn't sincere. Azula never speaks a word that isn't in service to some kind of deception. But it felt good to hear her say she needed me. It felt right the way she was building up our actions as a deciding day for Fire Nation history.

“You've already begun your journey to redemption.” She continued. “You have been healed from what marked you as coward. Let it be a symbol of your return to the true path of Fire. Let this day cleanse you of your past weakness and you rise to claim your birthright once more.”

I was beginning to believe her. I wanted so much to believe her.

“At the end of this day, you will have your honor back. You will have Father's love. You will have everything you want.”

It was too much. Despite my doubts it was as if she saw the core of my being and plucked my needs like a delicate instrument. Too much of what I desired flowed from her words, was in her hands. And so my choice was made.

Uncle tried to convince me otherwise but I couldn't help but see him as weak as he sat imprisoned in his crystal cage. Too often had I seen him at the mercy of others. What wisdom could there really be in someone who does not seem to have any control over his own life? He was to be Firelord, and now? I was ashamed to look at him. For a long while I thought it was because of him. 

Then I helped Azula kill the Avatar. There was no hope for his survival as Katara had used her spirit water to make me whole once more. How pitifully ironic.

With the Avatar gone our enemies lost their symbol, their hope to return the world back into some semblance of what it once was. Now they knew that nothing could heal the burns our Nation brought across the world. They would have to acknowledge our power or be consumed by it.

Still, some resisted. Uncle among them. He was considered a traitor to our Nation but I sued for mercy on his behalf. Though a fool he had stuck by me at my lowest. I owed him that much. Ozai assented, figuring his brother helpless. He'd learn just how wrong he was in time.

The Day of Black Sun would come. Azula warned us of the Earth Kingdom's plans to invade the Fire Nation capitol that day. She had meticulously made preparations against the event, relishing the anticipation of the moment when her opponents realize she had known all along. Which made it all the more disappointing for her when that invasion turned out to be a feint.

I have to admit it was quite brilliant of them. They'd gone so far as to launch a small fleet towards the Fire Nation before veering off into misty oceans, making it seem as if they were indeed coming. But they never did. The biggest thing to occur was Uncle's escape from prison.

It would be a week before we heard word of Ba Sing Se's recapture. Much of our navy had been recalled to defend the homeland and the rebels had been swift and decisive in their victory. Somehow they timed the eclipse perfectly, leaving our firebenders helpless at a crucial moment. Since they hadn't been prepped against the effects of the eclipse they didn't stand a chance. The Dai Li were occupied at the time by an insurrection within the walls. Someone stoked the fires of resentment among the locals and managed to unleash it at a most convenient time. Both Fire Nation and Dai Li were cast out of the city. And we had thought the war was over.

Then Sozin's Comet arrived. My father thought to use the opportunity to erase the Earth Kingdom from the map. It looked as if he would succeed too, with the invention of the flying machines we had developed. It was meant to be a surprise for the invaders but since they never came the surprise came with the comet. A whole fleet rose and sent a wall of fire against the Earth Kingdom. Yet sabotage occurred and the fires were somehow managed. By the time the ships recovered the comet was over, only a third of the way to its goal. Devastating enough in my opinion but Ozai was not one to take disappointment well.

The rest was a matter of time. The Earth Kingdom never recovered from our assault. Much of the land we burned away had been their bread-basket and it wasn't long before the whole kingdom was gripped with famine. Whatever resistance they had drummed up from their victory in Ba Sing Se withered away, but they made us fight for every inch. By the time our armies stood before its walls once more they were already defeated. We were told the city would hand over the rebel leaders for access to our food stores.

At some point during the transfer of prisoners some escaped, leaving me with only Sokka to face. I questioned him. Offered him leniency in exchange for the location of his sister, my uncle and their friends. He laughed at me.

“You honestly think you have a chance with her, don't you?” I did not like the gleam in his eye. He didn't wait for an answer. “She'll kill you for what you did.” 

He refused to tell me anything more so I handed him off to the lower prison cells. I was planning on showing him mercy but his laughter broke that intention. Perhaps I did despite myself. He could still be there for all I know. The goalers down there aren't exactly given much instruction or supervision but it's possible he'd still be alive. Doubtful he would be the same man.

No matter. I would find the others eventually. Katara and Uncle managed to incite the starving savages that remained within the Earth Kingdom. Their numbers and desperation proved to be a force to be reckoned with and they were armed to the teeth with weapons provided by Toph Beifong and her school of metal benders. Their gift armed them with surprising speed and quality and for a moment it seemed as if they might succeed. 

I decided to come to the battlefield personally. I didn't have to but I wanted to see the situation for myself. It was hard not to feel for these people. We had taken so much from them and yet still they fought, fierce and crazed as wild animals. Killing them felt like slaughtering beasts. Beasts we'd made of a once a proud people.

It couldn't last. At some point the battle would bring Katara and I together. She didn't think, didn't hesitate. Simply charged headlong against me, those eyes sharp as swords as they bored into me. Her trials had worn her down into a fearsome beauty. So we danced a deadly dance. Back and forth, her water smothering my flames yet unable to overtake me completely. She would've won had it been a fair fight. I felt it turn to her favor before others came with metal nets her water couldn't cut. They dragged her away snarling, screaming for my blood.

It would be months before I built up the courage to face her in our prisons. I let her stay above through no small effort on my part. Azula seemed particularly eager to exact pain upon the woman, though she wouldn't tell me why. In the end I didn't so much as convince her as intrigue her with my interest.

She was a shell of the woman I had seen on the battlefield, her eyes glazed as she stared into nothing. 

“I trust they treat you well enough.” I started. Badly.

She snorted in response, continuing her addled gaze. I sat across from her, wishing she didn't have to be chained to the table between us.

“It doesn't have to be this way you know.”

“Oh no.” She said ,finally looking at me, a hint of her old intensity coming through her eyes. “It does.”

“But-.”

“But what, Zuko?” She was completely alive then, all fire and hatred. I can't help but find it beautiful. “You're here to come rescue me? You're too late. You, your family and your nation have taken everything from me. Just let me rot away in your prison. If you let me out I won't be able to stop myself from killing you.”

It takes a lot out of her and she fades back into her stupor. I don't think she'll speak to me anymore, wonder if that might have been the last of her lucidity before finally breaking. In any case I cannot stand to be in that room with her any longer. Something fragile I hadn't realized I was gently holding for a long, long time cracks within me. I do not like the way it feels.

The last of the rebels still remained. Uncle Iroh. He did not fight as the others did, out in the open with bravado. Instead he slunk in the dark corners of the world, fighting not always with weapons but with the spread of his words. Too long he remained as a spider among the web, till at last he caught himself up in it.

We found him in the back room of a tavern. For weeks it had been used as a meeting place for the White Lotus, a key part of the rebellion. They had begun to see it as a safe haven and therefore met there more often than was prudent. I stormed the place myself, watching as my lecherous uncle went from delight with his hand upon a woman's thigh to dismay as I burst through the doors. He did not put up a fight. Apparently he was as tired of the struggle as we were. I met with him immediately.

“Just repent, Uncle.” I begged him. “If you show remorse the Firelord might show you mercy.”

“You know as well as I Ozai will not let me live a second time.” Iroh dismissed my plea. “I am twice now a traitor. He cannot let that slide.”

“I do not want to see you die, Uncle.” I told him.

“Then you should have let me go back at the tavern.” He chided me.

“You know I couldn't.” My lip trembled as I said this though I could not say why.

“No.” He said to me and fixed me with an expression I will never forget. So full of disappointment. So sad for me and what my choices have led to. I felt a lifetime of aching wisdom flood into me with that look. “I suppose not. You should go.”

“But they'll kill you!” I argue.

“It is far too late for you to care about that now.” He accused.

I couldn't endure his cold hard eyes anymore. I left the room, feeling a void grip the depths of my heart. His judgment came two days later. He was to be executed by burning the following day. I found I couldn't stand for that.

Which led to my murder of Ozai. I had intended to use his death to stall execution until I was Firelord and then exile him in my mercy. Little did I know that Azula had gone out of her way to ensure the old man burned before Ozai's 'attack' against me. I didn't know at the time but Iroh was already dead before I killed my father. I was only in time to see his blackened corpse propped up against the stake they burned him on. That something fragile within me that had cracked before shattered.

I realized that this whole time I was waiting for the opportunity to be drawn back into the path I hadn't chosen all those years ago. I had gotten everything I had thought I ever wanted and yet found that instead of being satisfied I simply wanted different things. Things I could never hope to get. All this time I had ached for them and instead of doing what I could to help them along I fought against it, making sure it was true that they could never exist. Why did I do that?

And now I am to be Firelord, leader of this abomination of an empire that scarred the very land with its presence. The world had lost its Avatar, its balance due to us and we called it a triumph. As I ascended to the throne I realized just how much harm the Fire Nation had done to the world, how much they could still do unless something was done

My most immediate problem was Azula. She accepted my account of Ozai's death far too readily. I expect that she planned to wait and make sure to disrupt my coronation. Yet the day had come and the crown was placed upon my head and nothing happened. I found that odd, considering it would be most advantageous for her to kill me before I became Firelord. I knew she wanted the crown for herself. Why wait till after?

I got an answer to my question soon enough. 

We were eating together. It had been months since the coronation and I had let my paranoia dull. It's exhausting to never trust the ones closest to you. Azula had proven a capable adviser, guiding me well and faithfully. I had begun to doubt whether she was working against me. But of course she was. She was Azula.

“How do you like the platypus bear?” She asks me. Somewhere in my head an alarm is sounding but I don't know why.

“Not as gamey as thought it would be.” I pick up another piece of meat with my chopsticks and put it in my mouth. Immediately everything is wrong. The meat squirms and before I can bite or spit it latches onto my tongue. 

“I see you've noticed my secret ingredient.” Azula purrs. Before I can cry out I feel encased in a gentle thrumming all throughout my body. I realize I can't move and find it strange I don't seem to care. “Paralytic mind-leech. Instead of sucking blood they attach themselves to the nervous system and feed off the signals your mind tries to send out to the body. They say it's actually a pleasant feeling. Would you agree?”

I couldn't answer her. I felt entirely disconnected from my body, wave after increasing wave of electricity flooding my mind. My whole body felt filled with sparkling wine and for a few moments I thought I would simply dissolve into a cloud of bubbles and float away.

“I'll take that as a yes.” Her smile cut into me even in that state. “Don't worry brother, I'm not going to kill you. I'm not like some members of our family.”

The words were flowing through me. Even now as I remember them they feel as if it happened to someone else. As if I were recalling a story I once read.

“No, I plan to keep you alive. Mostly coherent too. You'll even get to continue to be Firelord... in name. In truth it is I who will rule.”

Somewhere in the fog of my mind a little voice cried out against the storm of stimulation assaulting my mind. I heard it faintly, an echo in the wind. It was so hard to focus...

“Why would I do this, you ask?” She continued. I wonder if she cared whether I could hear her or not. I imagine she was more concerned with the sound of her own voice. “Because the effects of the mind-leech are addictive. After a week attached to it your body's chemistry will be irrevocably altered to be dependent on it. Once that happens, without regular exposure your brain will cease to function.”

Even as I was riding bliss and ecstasy I could feel a trickle of horror permeating through. The little voice grew louder. I could almost hear what it was saying... 

“Oh and if you're thinking you'll find your own, you won't. This species of leech has always been exceedingly rare. They require hosts with complex minds and few and far between visit their habitats. I made sure to burn them all. As far as I know this is the last mind-leech left in the world. Once it dies, you die so you would do well to take care of it, brother.”

I don't know how or why but that voice in the far reaches of my mind managed to break through screaming,

FIRE!

It was so loud that it felt like it was filling my head until it would burst. Somehow the thought translated into action and I could feel heat building inside my mouth. The pulses tried to lure me away, railing against my focus. But I put all I had into building that heat, stoking the flames between my teeth. It felt agonizingly slow, as if I were pushing a giant bolder up a hill. And yet finally the scales tipped and I felt a spark ignite within my throat and at last it erupted into flames that shot out of my mouth with a roar.

I felt the leech wither against my tongue. It did not have a voice but I felt it screaming, the once soothing waves stabbing into my skull. My vision stretched and molded itself in a nauseating maelstrom but I held on to the jet of fire till at last, blistered and scorched the leech released its grip and flew out of my mouth to land on the table between us as a writhing, smoking ember.

Azula looked at it with horror, then back at me, her face twisted with rage. Before she could say a word my guard came. I had asked them to leave us alone but no doubt the disturbance had attracted their attention. The room was spinning and I had to prop myself against the table to not collapse. Still I managed to feel a little satisfied as they secured her arms behind her. I wonder why she didn't fight then. Perhaps she thought she could still manipulate her way out.

“What shall we do with her, Firelord?”

I looked at her. My sister. All my life she had been there, toying with me like a cat. Ever watching, waiting for her moment to pounce and knock whatever house of cards I had built up. I tried to think of moments where we were happy together, where we bonded as brother and sister. And they were there, though always tainted by some scheme, some pretense. I never knew what was real with Azula. For the first time I wondered if even she didn't know.

I don't know how long I looked at her this way but I saw her open her mouth to speak. My hand moved on its own, viper quick as it shot out, my first two fingers pointed at her chest as I sent out a tiny bolt of lightning. Her eyes widened with shock and then dulled. Dead instantly. 

“Burn her.” I tell them.

I did not watch as they dragged her body away, simply stared at my hand as my nausea subsided and the world came into better focus. It's odd to be so shocked at doing something so sensible. Azula was always an insidious snake, her forked tongue boring its way into your mind until she controlled you like a marionette. She was too dangerous to let live. And yet how was it my hand was the one to enact this wisdom? How did I come to this judgment so quickly without a thought? Without hesitation?

I would think upon this for days until at last I came upon the revelation. My instinct had recognized the evil before me and had reacted naturally to destroy it. This evil wasn't Azula herself. No. As much as I had feared her throughout my life I could not lay the blame entirely at her feet. This evil was greater than that. It was something that had infested the very foundation of the Fire Nation. Something we had taken for our strength but in truth was our downfall. 

I decided to start a special academy conscripting young firebenders. Officially it was to train them with the finest teachers into their new role as peacekeepers of the world. We had succeeded in spreading our empire across the land. It was time to learn how to maintain it. Since the training was so rigorous and so important I insisted that the children live in this facility. Of course they would be provided with all the comfort and food necessary. Though not so much as to spoil them. Parents would usually laugh at that. I wonder if it was because it was truly funny or just because I was Firelord. I'd like to think it was a little of both.

Parents were saddened at being parted from their children, but were eager to offer them up in service to their Firelord and Nation. If they also were able to bend I would invite them to join as a sort of teacher's assistant. We would need all the good benders we could get. There would be enough room to house them though I could not guarantee luxury. Few denied the offer. I made sure to note them.

I built a grand but humble campus with just enough polish to be convincing. When people questioned the lack of obvious things I would beg for their patience as they were installed within the next few days. This mollified them and they continued funneling into the accommodations. They were cramped but not offensively so with sparse furnishings. The asceticism of it all was to be expected. This was to be a place of learning and discipline after all. 

We had accepted the people in the evening to give them time to travel there. By the census accounts we had managed to accrue the majority of young benders known to live within the Fire Nation and a good portion of adults for the Academy. By the time all were checked in and accounted for it was curfew. The children complained but the parents saw the sense in enforcing a strict schedule for learning. Soon enough all lights were snuffed out and the place settled into a quiet sleep.

The Dai Li were silent as they took their places. Thirty of them emerged from the shadows like ghosts and stood stone still, encompassing the campus in a wide circle. I held my breath as they remained that way, the air thick with anticipation. 

I don't know what cue they had but they all started suddenly into motion. In unison they raised their fists, pillars of earth shooting them into the air. As they fell I could see them spin their right arms while their left shot out and raked their way back to them. I felt a low tremor and watched as the earth around me sifted back and forth like a pile of beetles scrabbling over each other. Where I stood the ground turned soft and I sank a little into it. I decided to take a few steps back.

When the circle landed a ripple emerged from them, rising into the air like a great mound and collapsing inward towards the campus. The ground shook and a rumble like thunder built up to a roar. It struck the Academy without mercy. I could see splinters from thick oak beams fly into the air, dust and rock flung after. Still the Dai Li weren't finished. After they hit the ground they continued their assault, punching furiously in unison to create more waves that buffeted what was left of the campus. By the time they were finished there was nothing standing, simply a mound of tortured rocks flung over each other like a massive cairn. 

In that same night soldiers everywhere within the purview of the Fire Nation were being slaughtered in their sleep. It was easy enough to find someone within the ranks willing to kill their superiors, especially when such ranks typically did not go to non-benders. I have people in my employ who would know such things. They warned not all would be successful, but enough to matter. Enough to effectively purge firebenders from the Army's ranks by morning. The point was to sow chaos before announcing my intentions to the world.

Many gathered in the courtyard before my palace to hear me speak on the terrible tragedy that had befallen the Academy. I had decided to tell the truth.

“This tragedy that has befallen our great Nation was no accident.” 

I still remember the looks of shock from those closest to my pedestal. They could have no idea of what I meant. I held them in this confusion for a moment, let their minds founder in that quicksand.

“It was my will that those within the Academy should perish.”

Audible gasps from the crowd. No doubt they found me monstrous. I wasn't sure I could say they were wrong.

“For too long our Nation has burned away at the earth. We thought it our destiny. That our power demanded us to spread throughout the world. We were meant to lift the other nations up to our glory and yet what has happened since we have begun this crusade? The Air Nation is no more. The Earth Kingdom is dying, their cities brought to ruin. Their very ability to sustain themselves taken from them.”

No one moved or made a sound. Perhaps they thought if they did not react the mad Firelord would cease his ranting. That would not be the case. 

“The Southern Tribe has been annihilated and the Northern scattered across the seas. We killed the Avatar, not just in this life but for all time. Our Nation has brought nothing but destruction for a hundred years. How much more havoc will we wreak given another century? What more will be lost forever when Sozin's Comet comes upon us once again?”

A murmur began to rumble throughout the crowd, its tone strange and hard to read. I could not tell if it was dissension or if my words were convincing them. It was too late the back out now.

“We must bring an end to this madness. As such I have decreed that from this day forth firebending is outlawed from all those who would serve the Fire Nation. Those practicing firebending or who have been known to firebend will be put immediately to death.”

The murmur exploded into an uproar and finally the crowd found life within themselves. No doubt there were many firebenders there currently.

“We must purge this sickness from our people. The Academy though tragic was a necessary sacrifice. I will make it my life's mission to destroy this sickness and my last act will be to burn myself after completing my goal, having been so afflicted.”

Mayhem ensued as people began to drop, sporting quills that had sent them to their deaths. In order to attend my speech I had made sure to require some form of identification. Any and all firebenders attending were marked and assigned to one among the regiment of Yu-Yen archers I had stationed all around in high places within the courtyard. By the time they finished their work many of the most influential firebenders in the world were dead. Non-benders were allowed to leave and were encouraged to speak of what they witnessed.

The years that followed that day were full of tedious enforcement of my decree. In truth I had expected some to rise up against me. And some did, though not as many as I expected. Apparently I had underestimated the resentment non-benders had against their bending fellows. 

The surviving benders scattered to all corners of the world, forming pockets of resistance where they could. Having no place to call home it was difficult to locate and eliminate them. While my soldiers became ever more competent at finding them, they became ever more able to escape their grasp. Victories came in ones and twos, a trickle eroding the rock face that was my goal, but inevitable. I doubted that it would be finished in my lifetime, yet I intended to go through with my vow to burn when the time came. I could not be a hypocrite and die of old age when every other bender was slaughtered in my crusade. Not yet, however. There was still too much to be done. 

This will be my final entry. The Avatar despite everything still lives! I do not understand how this is possible. All the lore I know of points to the fact that the Avatar Spirit would cease to exist upon the living Avatar dying while in the Avatar State. I saw it happen with my own eyes. His eyes were aglow and then he was falling. There could be no mistake.

And yet she is here. Her name is Korra and she's thrown enough fireballs, boulders and ice to convince me that she must be the new Avatar. Whoever made it known this was the way to kill the Avatar forever was wrong. I suppose I should be less surprised, since as far as I knew the Avatar had never died this way before.

She says she's eight but she looks closer to five. A skinny, half-starved thing. At the very least killing Aang while in the Avatar State had delayed the cycle for decades. How she managed to get here on her own is unfathomable. She claims to be from the Southern Water Tribe. I don't have the heart to tell her there isn't one anymore. Did she come here alone all that way?

“Why did you come here, Korra?” I asked her.

“I must defeat the Firelord!” She proclaims in earnest, stabbing upward with her fork and swinging her legs excitedly a good foot from the ground. It's hard not to smile.

“Even when he gives you lemon cakes?” I tease. I don't know what I'm doing. To be safe I should kill the girl. But I don't want to. Instead of fearing her I find she makes me happy. It had been so long since I believed I could be happy.

She frowns at me and stuffs another cake in her mouth. “It's what the Avatar does! Everyone says so!”

“Well nobody can say you didn't try.” I say to her. She breaks down crying.

“I can't do it.” She stammers, smearing cake on her face as she tries to wipe away her tears. “I tried but I can't do it!”

It's a strange thing comforting a child that just tried to kill you. She had come after me like a badger, vicious and quick. I had to seriously defend myself until her form slipped and I was able to take advantage of her clumsiness. I tackled her but she fought me like a cat, scratching and clawing and trying to breathe fire into my face. Thankfully she only managed a shower of sparks that singed my hair and beard. It took a while to calm her down.

After a good cry, Korra finally sniffled as she looked up at me. “Everyone says you're so mean... But you seem nice to me.”

“I only started pretty recently.” I admitted to her. “They're right. I am pretty mean.”

The words I said sounded light but it felt as if my entire body were screaming. I had done so much... killed so many... hurt almost everyone around me. I had done this because I thought I had seen the truth. That we as a Nation had destroyed the world beyond redemption and therefore must sacrifice ourselves in the hopes such penitence would make things right. 

And yet beyond all hope the Avatar has returned. The prospect fills me with life and with it anguish. All that I had felt for decades... had stuffed down into a tiny box where even I couldn't see... all so that I could excise the supposed “rot” that had taken hold of the Fire Nation.

The truth was that it was me. I was the rot that had infested our once great Nation. I may not have been its source but it had found a welcome home in me and all I did was repeat the mistakes of my ancestors. My only contribution was destruction. I thought since it were our own people it made it different... righteous somehow. But the truth was I was consumed with rage at my own failures. In my misery, feeling helpless against my ability to change what had happened, to somehow go back and choose the right path, I lashed out thinking it would somehow bring balance. I'm such a fool.

And now hope has landed on my doorstep and it fills me with great joy and such sorrow. I cannot claim to be the arbiter of peace in this world any longer. I never had a right to it. It is time that I upheld my vow. My old mission is all but done. In the years to come when Sozin's Comet arrives there could not possibly be enough firebenders to destroy as I and my forefathers have done. I no longer am sure if that is a good thing.

“I am glad to meet you, Avatar Korra.” I mean it when I say it. She's so young, so bright, so innocent. How much older had Aang been? I look into her eyes... the same blue as a girl I thought I once loved. Now I wonder if I ever knew how to love. I take off a necklace and drape it over her. A gold chain with a golden flame pendant inlaid with ruby at the center and flecked with topaz.

“This is the Seal of the Living Flame.” I tell her. “As long as you wear it no one may harm you. It is important you keep it on at all times. Even when you're sleeping.”

“But it's heavy...” She whines. In truth it is far too big for her, the fire more like a breastplate than a pendant on her tiny frame.

“I know.” I agree, realizing my neck hadn't felt so light in years. “But you have to keep wearing it. It will protect you.”

She nods somberly and I'm convinced she gets the message.

“You have to go little Korra.” I insist. “Just make your way out of here and find one of my guard. Tell them to take you home.”

“I don't have a home...” She says sadly.

I shuffle through my papers for a blank piece and write up a royal decree proclaiming Korra to be the adoptive daughter to a wealthy lord I know. A barren couple, they would appreciate bringing a new daughter into their house, especially the Avatar. I seal it in wax with my signet and hand it to her.

“Just hand them this.” I instruct. “They will bring you to a nice family who is looking for a daughter just like you. They will adore taking care of you.”

“Why not you?” She asks. “I don't think I can do better than the Firelord.”

“Firelords don't make good fathers.” I warn her as something catches in my throat. “Now go, child. The world will be asking much of you and I have no small share in the blame.”

She gives me a puzzled look and then waddles her way down the hall. I truly hope she keeps the Seal on. It's the only thing keeping her alive. I have faith. Like a miracle she had come back to the world. It seemed impossibly cruel that she would do so only to be snuffed out. I take in a deep breath and let it go.

I have prepared my pyre for years. It is a simple yet elegant thing. A metal platform with a great intricate turbine fashioned into a lotus. Slender spokes rise up and above I see an arch of people's faces staring down at me. There is Aang, somehow accusing in his laughter. Sokka is without emotion. Katara is furious. There is a final head that I can only assume is Toph. I suppose being blind even with her gifts she could sense those around her but not herself. The head was hideous, bestial and malformed. I had gotten her to build this for me. A favor I figured she would be all too happy to oblige. 

“You want me to design a machine to kill you?” She didn't seem so much surprised as unexpectedly amused. “Why not just let me do it now?”

“It has to be reasonably humane.” I ignore her jibes.

“No guarantees.” She grunts, hanging from the ceiling like a fly wrapped in a spider's web. It was the only way to be sure she wouldn't escape. We had imprisoned her for so long this way her limbs must have atrophied. She may be able to bend but not for combat.

“You aren't in a position to bargain, Toph.”

She laughed then. Piercing as a mockingjay. “Aren't I?”

She agreed of course. Apparently it was easy to use. All I had to do was firebend into the spout to my right. The force would start the turbine which will accelerate and amplify my fire. She told me to make it a real good blast. If I held back the effects might be painful but not fatal.

I can only hope I haven't damaged the world beyond repair. It's funny how willing I am to place my faith in a child when once my one hope was to capture her predecessor. It is time the world continued on without me. I have done more than enough. I go now to my pyre, to face whatever afterlife I have earned. 

I'm sorry, Uncle.


End file.
